So, hypothetically speaking, of course...
You've worked hard at your current company and find yourself in a position of power with 3 or 4 people working underneath you. You've hired an attracitve intern that gave a good interview a few months back. You know through colleagues that he/she parties pretty hard, and you're interested to see what happens at your company's holiday party.
So the holiday party starts off uneventful until said intern gets a little sloppy. He/She is all over you and you've never seen this side of them before, but you're DEFINITELY into it...younger, attractive intern. You're getting a little sloppy as well, and you're starting to realize that it probably looks strange to have your intern all over you in front of your colleagues. You wisen up and tell the intern to meet you at the local bar in an hour for a drink so it doesn't look like you've left together.
You cap the night off with the intern and a whiskey on the rocks...they invite you back to their place, you accept. Things are getting hot and heavy as you move to the bedroom. Here's where things get wierd. The intern stops for a minute and says, "If we're going to do this, the only way I can get off is if we film it."
You're clearly already into it, but you do realize the moral implications of the situation. You probably shouldn't be hooking up with them anyways...they're your subordinate! However, remember that you're EXTREMELY intoxicated at this point and just polished off your like 8th straight up whiskey in addition to whatever else you've been drinking at the open bar.
Do you stop? You've already come so far...
Do you refuse to let them film? How will they react to that?
Do you say "screw it" and go through with it anyways?
Merry Christmas!
(inspired from conversation with VCH)
I say you let her film it if that's what she's into. The tricky part is that you might not remember it in the morning, so you NEED to make sure that the camera isn't put away when you're done.
In the morning, when you realize what you've done, you have several options :
1a. Steal the tape if it's VHS
1b. Steal the camera if it's digital
2. Wake her up and see if she wants to go another round
3. Kill her and stuff her dead body in the trunk of her car then drive it into a nearby lake
4. Buy her flowers
5. Make breakfast
6. Watch "Jersey Shore"
I vote 6....even though it may be off topic.
Don't Stop.
ReplyDeleteYou Can't Stop Us.
o yeah & WE GOT IT ON TAPE!
If she says she can only get off by filming it, then you say you can only get off by peeing on her face.
ReplyDeletego for it.
ReplyDeleteperhaps slip him some sort of drug.
if the video camera is VHS equipped: take the tape and split in the morning.
if the video camera is digital: take the camera and split in the morning.
when you get home, it's time for recon. clearly this is not the first time your intern has done this, and there are sure to be some other escapades documented on the camera. common knowledge, all interns are sluts, and he came on to you.
once you've analyzed the rest of the footage, you'll probably have some dirt on your other coworkers (again, interns are sluts.) save this information for when you can appropriately extort things from said coworkers.
**for some extra insurance, while you're getting it on make sure to say some things that guarantee he will never want to show the video to anyone
so I would be trying to film it and intern. humm that might not have good consequences. Well, it seems like there's no benefit also. Am I so into him/her, I don't think so. So what I would do is screw that and try to recover from the hangover that I'm gonna have the day after. Prolly he/she is not gonna be handsome/beautiful at the next day too, so totally screw it.
ReplyDeleteFirst off let me say this, if I have had 8 straight up whiskies, the only thing I'd be banging is my head against the bathroom floor. Now assuming I had the stomach lining of an Irish potato farmer, I'd definitely go through with it, not of course before trying convince out of it with some Jewish guilt. Id say something along the lines as my grandmother was accosted by a porn director.
ReplyDeleteSo let's say we get into. The only reason to question the prestige hobby of home pornography is the chance this could be used against you. She is an intern, however, so the evidence has a very finite lifetime to have any serious consequences (which really how much trouble would you be in unless your job had a very strict policy). But in the words of Jack Dempsey, the best offense is a good defense.
The morning after, grab another sexing for the road then head to to Las Vegas or New York City or Detroit or any other city with a large prostitution population. Spend the weekend there having sex with as many prostitutes as humanly possible. Here's the kicker, you have to film every encounter.
Now when the time comes where the intern trys to blackmail you, call her a bitch then tell to try her worst. You could care less. When she shows your boss the tape of you going to town on her, you say that it proves nothing. Anyone can fake a sex tape. You then show him all of your tapes. Tell him that either all these tapes are fake or you had sex with all these women. He will go for the former, because how could anyone have sex with that many women. The intern will be fired for being a bitch and case closed.
You can do all that or just tell the truth. Look what its done for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.
And that is definitely a picture at Seventh Grand. My safe haven when The Edison becomes a little bitch.
ReplyDeleteI would tell her she's in luck because I already tape all my baby making via hidden cam, however there is still no guarentee that she will in fact get off.
ReplyDeletelike tiger woods... sink the putts... nail the sluts
ReplyDelete